Thoughts. We all have some. We think what we’re going to say before-hand (well, at least we should!), we think about what we’re doing, and we think about how to go about things.

Have you ever wondered what someone thinks about you? Whether they think you’re smart, clever, good-looking, or athletic, have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered when you tell someone something really important to you, what they’re thinking?

Have you ever even wondered what it would be like to know what everyone thinks of you?

Would you ever like to know what people think of you?

In truth, it would be interesting to, but at the same time, I wouldn’t want to, because you would get too self-conscious.

We all think things. We all have out own minds and we all do what we see fit.

But we can always see indications of what people think of what you say, or you as a person.

Raised eyebrows obviously means they’re curious. You’ve said something intriguing, interesting, or something they never knew or imagined about you before, and a bit of surprise creeps in. Good thing is you probably know they’re listening, therefore.

If they sort of pout their lips, then again, they will be intrigued to know more.

There are many signs, too, to see when someone is embarrassed. We all do our own thing when we’re embarrassed.

Some people may bite their lips. Others will avoid eye contact the best they can. Girls, in particular, will probably fiddle with their hair.

There are always tell-tale signs as to what people thing of, and about, you.

Martin Li

You learn that people sometimes hurt you. That even if you plan as best you can, the future can sometimes surprise you. That the things you expect will make you happy sometimes  fall horribly short.

You start collecting ideas about how the world works and how you should operate within it–what to do, how to be, who to trust. Then just when you think you have it all figured out,your world cracks open and reminds you there’s still so much to learn.

People often debate the meaning of life and how we should live it, but I think most agree that life’s about learning. It’s about being a little wiser and more self-aware today than yesterday, and using that wisdom to make the world a better place than you found it.

We all have that potential within us. We’re all students and teachers, vulnerable andpowerful–and that’s a beautiful thing. The most influential people in the world have boththe courage to inspire and the humility to be inspired.

One of the most important things you’ll ever learn is the power of love.

1. Love (and be loved in return);

In our lifetimes, we will learn to love. We will appreciate that love is a very fragile feeling: one second you could be its best friend; the next your nemesis. But if you learn to love, people will learn to love you back. So do that. Set yourself free. And live in a happy world.

2. Let your guard down with people and generally be fearless;

If you are too afraid to love, who is going to love you? If you can’t love yourself, no-one can. Because you hold the invisible key. Learn to let people see you for who you are, and let them love you for it.

3. A broken open heart is the ultimate teacher;

Being destroyed is the prerequisite to becoming wiser, funnily enough. If you can share your “broken heart” feelings with others and not let it be inconspicuous, you will be loved. Cut out the small talk – work and the weather – and if you share personal emotions with others, you will get that in return.

4. You must be willing to forgive if you want to be forgiven;

If the ultimate thing you want to learn in life is love, then you must not have haters, however much of a mission impossible it might seem. Optimistically, it actually isn’t; it’s in your sphere of power – you can do something about it. And if you forgive someone, they will know what to do.

5. You get what you give, so be generous;

What you provide, others will receive. But remember, what they provide, you will receive also. It works both ways. So be bountiful in what you give, because if they receive bountiful somethings, they will provide you with bountiful somethings.

6. Love must never leave us;

Love never just goes. It might hide, but it’s only waiting for you to allow it to re-emerge, so don’t just go after it; chase after it.

7. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated;

No point being horrible to someone and expecting them to love you back. It will never work. What can you do? You can’t change them, but you can change yourself. So go on.

8. Others can only you as much as you love yourself;

If you are not willing to love yourself, no-one else will be able to. However much others love you will depend on however much you love yourself. A lot? Good to hear it then.

9. No matter how much you think you know, you never know everything. Don’t judge;

You might think you’re perfect; you’re not. You might think you’re the perfect example; you’re not. You might think you’re the perfect lover; you’re not. Because you should never judge – yourself, or others. And so if you don’t know, and you don’t judge, then how will you think you are, when you don’t know the abilities of others?

10. Love the people that you are with and enjoy the moment;

Be grateful for who you are, and what you have got. Don’t ask for any more. Don’t think back to the past. Acknowledge and appreciate what you have. “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

11. Practise kindness in everything you do;

If you want to be loved, you have got to be kind. You learn to be kind, others will know and appreciate that side to you.

Eleven crucial points there. Love is not simply handed to you on a plate. You go out, seek for it, and grasp it with two firm hands. But crucially, you learn to appreciate what you have got, and if you are satisfied with that, then really, you need not ask for any more. Need you?

But when it comes to love and heartbreak (which uncannily seems to shadow love all the time), you have to “never allow someone to be your priority whilst allowing yourself to only be their option.”

© Adapted by Martin Li. Follow me on my Twitter.

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Next time…

The Most Important Things You’ll Ever Learn: Meaning (Part 2)

How do you tell? What are the give-aways to spot fibbers?

Eye Contact: A bad liar feels uncomfortable with deception and may use tactics such as rubbing their eyes to avoid contact. If a pal does this while they’re telling you about how fit last night’s date was, you can assume they’re being dishonest.

The opposite of avoiding eye contact is the fixed stare and this can also be a big give-away. This liar is determined to convince you they are telling you the truth. If they hold eye contact for more than six seconds, be suspicious about what they are telling you.

The fact liars can’t look victims in the eyes is a myth. A liar often over-compensates eye contact in an attempt to convince the victim they’re not making things up.

Where they look: When right-handed people are lying, they tend to look right. With left-handers, it’s the other way round.

What they say: How liars answer questions can also expose them and you should look out for what is called “a contraction”. So, for example, if a truthful person is asked: “Did you falsify this report?”, they will reply, “No, I didn’t.”

Whereas a liar will have no time to think about the process and simply mirror the questioner’s language and stretch out the sentence, such as, “No, I did not do that.”

How they stand: Liars will tend to cross their ankles or arms – but a lot of people are aware of that body language and will try to keep a more open posture to put victims off the scent.

Observing a person’s stance when they’re standing up can be a good indicator. A liar may deliberately position their posture at a right angle to avoid standing in an open position. If they do, they could be telling porkies.

Watch their hands: When kids tell a lie, they will usually cover their mouth and this is worth remembering. Any kind of gesture from someone’s hands towards the upper chest, face or head area – like scratching their head – can mean untruths.

Also, if someone is holding something like a coffee cup or folder between themselves and you, watch out. They could be using it to create a subconscious barrier to hide behind.

Watch their lips: People’s lips will go pale in times of stress. And if they are red-faced or white as a sheet while speaking to you, this can be a giveaway too. This happens in response to the body’s natural flight or fight response in times of pressure, which can be sparked by lying.

Twitches: Liars often twitch which can be one of the easiest signs to spot. Often, it’s the liar’s eyelids which twitch or it could be a tiny muscle in the cheek or neck.

Males have an area at the bottom of the nose which actually twitches when we know we haven’t told the truth.

When women lie: The biggest girlie giveaway is  blushing, and can be a sign your missus is lying.

© Darren Stanton. Follow Martin Li on my Twitter, or Become A Fan of my Facebook fan page.

For a lot of people, it’s the number 13. A lot of people don’t like the number 13. Don’t know why, and certainly, Friday 13th isn’t favoured. Whether that dates back to history, and times back then, or not, some people don’t like it.

Similarly, loads of people like it, and good for them. Taylor Swift, for example, is a huge fan of 13.

Other superstitions? Well, we’ve all seen a black cat. This is meant to bring good luck. It’s often on a lot of Greetings’ Cards here in England.

How many of you believe in this “touch wood” business? I bet most of you do. Yes, we all have certain things we do that we just believe will do us some favour. And as I guess, amongst what I keep saying in my Blogs, most notably this one, as long as you believe something happens, then you’re probably right.

Four-leaf clovers. We always find this lucky, because it’s so hard to find.

Why is “white” typically used to symbolise ‘peace’ and so forth, and “red” more of ‘anger’?

And to the bad points, why do we believe walking under a ladder is bad luck? Why do we believe breaking a mirror will bring upon us seven years of bad luck? Does it really date back to ancient times, where mirrors were classified as tools of gods?

Why is it unlucky to see one magpie, but lucky to see two? Why is it unlucky to open umbrellas indoors (there could be a big leak inside a room…)?

There are tons of other superstitions, and I do mean tons. Why do we all like Friday (presumably because it’s the end of the week, but if you’re religious, Jesus was crucified on Friday, so surely that will make it bad?)? Tons of others, but I’ll leave it for now. Just enough to get you thinking, but not enough to get you worrying over it…

© Martin Li. Follow me on my Twitter, or Become A Fan of my Facebook fan page.

Why is it about?

Usually, we create it. On the more basic of examples, it might be late homework. We don’t do it until the very last moment, but we might have double-booked ourselves, and that last day has to be spent doing something else. We stress about it, as we don’t want a detention, but physically can’t cram it into our so very hectic timetable. So then, we panic because we don’t know what to do about it, and then, pressure’s on.

Cycle, isn’t it? What can you blame? Yourself, or the homework? I bet a few of you are cheekily saying ‘my homework’ to yourself, but really, it was your fault not doing it earlier. Do things as soon as you get them, because you never know the future, and what might happen (and this homework example is certainly one of the easiest ‘dilemmas’ you’ll ever get in life).

How do we stop it?

Well, in the above scenario, doing it on time. But on other, more serious, times, we all have to keep a cool head. In life, there is pressure, and we have to work on it. We have to build upon it. When we see pressure, we can do so many things, and two of those are either, 1) to crumble and give up, which is the easy way out, or 2) to fight even harder for it.

You will have known now from all my Blogs, you have to try to really achieve things. I spent about four hours doing an English Romeo & Juilet essay, and upon return today, I’ve found out I’ve got one of the better grades, the equivalent of an A*. Now that in itself, might only just be English homework, and yes it is, but psychologically, it is a huge boost. To see that hard work does actually eventually pay off, to see that if you try, you will succeed.

Always build off pressure. There will be tough times in life, we know that, life isn’t perfect, and it can be quite a challenge. But build upon pressure, allow it to create that extra sense of fire amongst you to achieve it.

With me? When something’s hard, you don’t give up. I always have that extra stored-up firepower which makes me extra motivated to do it. Whether that be a long essay, or a football match, I am extremely competitive, not a sore loser, but extremely dedicated. I will only feel satisfied once I’ve done it successfully. My English homework really should have only taken me one hour (officially, homework’s are meant to be 35 minutes for me, but hey), but being me, I did about two drafts before hand.

With pressure, which I always put myself a lot under, you have to become stronger from it. You can’t give up. That isn’t the point to life. The point is to live with what you have, and work for what you believe you deserve. Earn it.

© Martin Li. Follow me on my Twitter, or Become A Fan of my Facebook fan page.

If you believe, anything can happen. It’s true. You have the right mentality to go about things, then you will success. No need to worry about “what if?” and all that, because you will know the answer, if you believe.

A lot of people lack a bit of self-motivation. Certainly, already in my lifetime, I have come across many people who just give up. Yes, it’s the easy way out, we all know that, but really, is that good for you? Psychologically, just calling quits at the easiest time possible? No, we all know it isn’t. Am I suggesting you to persistently beg? Not at all. Don’t sound desperate, because if it somehow doesn’t happen, then you’ll be even more disappointed.

Try your best at everything. Never treat anything as “easier”, in life, there will be a few surprises anywhere and everywhere. Do not underestimate people, you’ll only be made to look like a fool.

If you can carry yourself through things, then you’ve got a pretty good going for yourself. Very soon indeed, I have my GCSEs coming up. And yes, of course, that requires a lot of dedicating, commitment, motivation, to learn, revise, pay attention in lessons, and all the rest of it. These will, potentially, base my education and job life. Now we all know, there are plenty of distractions. Whether that be being addicted to COD (as I know some teens are, unlike me…), or whether Facebook distracts me either, I have to have the dedication and motivation to drive me and carry me through these testing times.

It’s a key part in life, but everything in life needs some force behind it, something driving you on. No motivation, no success. It’s really as simple as that. If you don’t try for something, then what will you get out of it? Absolutely nothing. What do you expect to get out of something you don’t try for, eh? Nothing. For life, we all need to try, and at times, try harder for some things than others. But behind everything working, needs a committed worker.

© Martin Li. (Been a bit lazy today as you can see, as this was yesterday’s Blog, but they were so similar…) Follow me on my Twitter, or Become A Fan of my Facebook fan page.

A lot of people lack a bit of self-motivation. Certainly, already in my lifetime, I have come across many people who just give up. Yes, it’s the easy way out, we all know that, but really, is that good for you? Psychologically, just calling quits at the easiest time possible? No, we all know it isn’t. Am I suggesting you to persistently beg? Not at all. Don’t sound desperate, because if it somehow doesn’t happen, then you’ll be even more disappointed.

Try your best at everything. Never treat anything as “easier”, in life, there will be a few surprises anywhere and everywhere. Do not underestimate people, you’ll only be made to look like a fool.

If you can carry yourself through things, then you’ve got a pretty good going for yourself. Very soon indeed, I have my GCSEs coming up. And yes, of course, that requires a lot of dedicating, commitment, motivation, to learn, revise, pay attention in lessons, and all the rest of it. These will, potentially, base my education and job life. Now we all know, there are plenty of distractions. Whether that be being addicted to COD (as I know some teens are, unlike me…), or whether Facebook distracts me either, I have to have the dedication and motivation to drive me and carry me through these testing times.

It’s a key part in life, but everything in life needs some force behind it, something driving you on. No motivation, no success. It’s really as simple as that. If you don’t try for something, then what will you get out of it? Absolutely nothing. What do you expect to get out of something you don’t try for, eh? Nothing. For life, we all need to try, and at times, try harder for some things than others. But behind everything working, needs a committed worker.

© Martin Li. Follow me on my Twitter, or Become A Fan of my Facebook fan page.

If everything had a creator, then who was God’s? It’s a common question, “If Got Created Everything, Who Created God?”

Of course, there are tons of arguments supporting this, and some not so. We have the Causation and Design Arguments, and then of course people like Stephen Hawking going against it.

But never the less, from a Christian point of view, this is the conclusion:

God has no need to have been created, since He exists either outside time (where cause and effect do not operate) or within multiple dimensions of time (such that there is no beginning of God’s plane of time). Hence God is eternal, having never been created. Although it is possible that the universe itself is eternal, eliminating the need for its creation, observational evidence contradicts this hypothesis, since the universe began to exist a finite ~13.7 billion years ago. The only possible escape for the atheist is the invention of a kind of super universe, which can never be confirmed experimentally (hence it is metaphysical in nature, and not scientific).

© Martin Li. (With a bit of help from other sources…) Follow me on my Twitter, or Become A Fan of my Facebook fan page.

So how do we find happiness?

It’s one of those things. It’s abstract, we cannot literally touch it, grab it, keep hold of it, and have it. It’s one of those feelings and emotions where there is no set definition of ‘happiness’. For us, we might see buying a new PS3 game as a bit of ‘happiness’, but for people in Ghana, ‘happiness’ might just be surviving. So ‘happiness’ varies. There is no set definition of it, and it all depends on the way of your thought.

We have to work hard for it. Nothing is life is ‘free’, you cannot get anything just like that, we have to try, and try hard. As you will have read my Blog yesterday on ‘Praying’, I personally believe God will answer the way He sees fit, so if you are still wondering why you haven’t properly felt happy within yourself, search deeper.

Us humans, will arguably never understand the mind of God. But I always believe that you just believe, and you will succeed. You might be unemployed now, and so go into your next job interview, believing you can do it, aim extremely high, and then you might well have succeed in finding ‘happiness’, certainly in this aspect. (‘Shoot for the moon, and if you miss, you’ll still be amongst the stars’, is the saying there).

Always try hard in life. Work hard, prepare hard, and succeed. You can never get anywhere without initial preparations, and you can never experience the true meaning of life if you don’t try for anything. Everything in life needs a bit of work. Whether that be from trying hard at school, or later in life for a job interview, or trying hard to work a relationship out, we all have to try in life, and if we don’t, then we won’t have really grasped what life is.

Never ever have any regrets in life. We all know, we are only humans, we make mistakes, we know that, and if someone criticises you for one, then they’re silly, because they will have make tons of them themselves. They key about a mistake (and note I say ‘mistake’, something accidental) is to get over it, and rectify it where possible. I’ve made tons of mistakes in my life, I know that. And if I said that I hadn’t, I would have been lying. Some hurt so bad, and some make you think “What was I thinking when I did this, was I crazy!?”. The truth of the matter is, you did what your brain felt was best at the time, in the state you were in (note, that necessarily still isn’t the best decision, just the best decision in the state you were in [you might have been drunk!]). But the key, is firstly knowing you made a mistake (and trust me, I’ve known loads of people who don’t even have the courage to admit to their own mistakes), secondly realising it was stupid and apologising sensibly, and thirdly, trying to make up for it. Now that’s a hard ask, but it’s part of life.

Never look back. Why do I say that to you? What difference does it make? If you’ve made a silly mistake, and really felt bad about it retrospectively, then why think about it anymore? It was in the past, you cannot do anything about what happened, but you can do something it make it not go down as badly. I’ve known loads of people who look back and say to themselves “Well why did I do this? I can’t believe I did this”, and so forth. Why wonder of and about it? You’ve done it! There’s no need to think to yourself over and over again why you did it, because you can’t do anything else about it now, can you? Instead, work out how to get over it mentally, and do right from now on.

The reason I tell you never to look back, apart from wasting time, is the fact that psychologically, it holds you back. If you keep thinking back, your brain will always think back to the event, and this mentally is a big blow, so at all times, deal with things at the times, and look to build on.

Don’t take life too seriously is another crucial point. Don’t get wound up about things that really, you don’t need to get wound up from. I mean, don’t take life as a big joke, but certainly, where possibly, laugh things off. Psychologically, and mentally, it’s good for the mind, to know that you can deal with things on the spot, and not let it linger.

So why can’t I still seem to find ‘happiness’?

Oh, stop moaning, will you? Whatever you feel of life, there is always someone out there worse off. We probably don’t actually think of people much outside of our own country, but when you visit countries like Ghana and India, you will see the amount of extreme poverty there is devastatingly horrific. We don’t actually appreciate life properly going by that. Me? Set the ‘life standard’, if you like, as a life in a boy in Ghana. Getting up really early, going about three hours to find just water alone, no education, no proper stable home. Now compare that to ours. Feel proud of our life. Feel proud of the life we have. People who know me will always know I keep a happy face on, and when I don’t, I do try and think deeply about people less-advantaged than me in the world.

So never get too sad. I’ve known some people cry because they haven’t got what they wanted, say a new iPod, and I have to admit, I am for one, but then you compare it to people elsewhere, and it’s utterly devastating, and then you appreciate the true wonders with our own lives.

You might expect too much, too. Never good, really. Aim high, of course. Dream a lot, because this will help you get through your bad. But never expect that much? Because what happens when you don’t succeed? You’ll feel even more disappointed. But of course, if you believe you will succeed, you will succeed.

© Martin Li. Follow me on my Twitter, or Become A Fan of my Facebook fan page.

God created you in this world, and when He does, it means He is accepting you. If He didn’t, He wouldn’t have allowed you to have been born. You have to lead a morally good example. You have got to repay God’s faith in you by doing the right thing, and I’m sure in our minds, we always know what is right, and what is wrong. Yes? If we be good, or our best to, we would have done ourselves very proud, if nothing else.

Some people, pessimistically, say there is no God of some form out there. They feel we are complete idiots praying to ‘nobody’, and it’s a sign that we’re insecure because we can’t deal with problems ourselves and need God’s help all the time. For me, it’s complete nonsense, and I think it’s absolutely crazy.

We all believe. You might believe in different things to what other people believe in, but within ourselves, we all have that feeling of belief. Some people believe there’s a God, some people don’t.

Though there is nothing adamantly saying to us 100% that there is a God around in the this world, if we believe there is one, then there is one. Simple as that. It’s all psychologically, if you want to look at it like that. Back to my example, if you go into a Geography exam, knowing Geography is one of your weakest subjects, and going in with the mentality of ‘Oh I’m going to fail!’, then that will get you nowhere. ‘Whatever you think, you are probably right.’ You think you’re going to fail, chances are you will. Give the mentality of ‘Oh, I know I struggle at Geography, but do myself proud and get a decent grade at this.” Now, that is more like it.

Try, try, try again. God will not hand you things on a plate. He will tell you to work for things. There is no point praying once, then sulk and say you’ll never pray ever again because God didn’t answer you that one time. It’s crazy. We all have to do our best in life, and God is probably actually answering the way He sees fit, by not actually answering it at all, and either making you work for it (test of faith), or going to give up straight away (effectively ‘using’).

Chances are, your prayers are always answered. But in the way God sees fit. No human on Earth could ever think the way God does – He’s just superior to all of us. But God will always do His best for us, whether that be answering your prayer in a subtle way, or not answering at all, He will have acknowledged your prayer.

So whenever you go pray, and a day later, it doesn’t work, don’t feel down. Don’t cry in a corner. Get up, and as they typically say, ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.’

© Martin Li. Follow me on my Twitter, or Become A Fan of my Facebook fan page. (Please do tell me if you’ve read my Blogs and followed me on Twitter or Facebook from seeing here – I would love to know!)